Twin Minions of Evil

Screech (back), Skidmark (front)



These are the boys. Aren't they pretty? Surely you didn't expect anything less than 2 black cats from the Evil One, now did you? They happen to be the coolest cats on the whole damn planet. Sorry to all cat owners, but it is true. Their names are Skidmark and Screech. Evil's cats must be named in Evil's way.

Skidmark is the smartest fucking cat...so smart, in fact, that he can single-handedly keep a WHOLE house of people awake all night and not even be in the same room as the want-to-be sleepers. He does the feat by opening cabinet doors with his little paw about 3 inches, then letting it go and "SLAM!" instant wakey for the tired. Last night while I was watching TV he started in...only this time he decided to start removing items from the cabinet. I know noone would believe me, so I took a picture. Check it out:

Let me see, I have the towel, now all I need is a washcloth


I now have photographic evidence that he is too smart to be a cat. I got Skid when he was about 3 weeks old from Miami-Dade animal control. I actually picked out another in the litter, but he died before I could spring him from the jail. I went the very next day and was able to get him out and to the Vet before he was gassed. I took him with me to work and nursed him along until he was healthy.

Screech is, well, Screech. I got him about 3 weeks later. The twins are not actually brothers, but who the fuck cares? I like the title "Twin Minions of Evil" better than "Unrelated Black Cats of Evil". See what I mean? Just doesnt have the right ring to it. Anyway, Screech is a bit of a simpleton. Poor guy. But what he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in humor. He likes to have his belly rubbed like a dog. He LOVES strangers such as the cable guy. Having the cable installed a few months ago was an interesting situation. Screech wanted love from the cable guy. Cable guy wanted to install the cable. The cat won. He won because he laid on the guy's tools so he couldn't work. Cat 1, cable guy 0 (maybe he isn't as dumb as I thought).

Well, these guys keep me in stitches most of the time and if you are going to hang out with Evil, you gotta love the Twins.

Screech (top) Skidmark (circle of Evil)