Finding Happy

Okay, the kid ran away again. If I spent half as much time looking for happiness as I do looking for this kid, I would be one happy chick right now. Seriously. I have tried EVERYTHING to get help for him....No one wants to help. I am going to have to Marchman Act his ass to get him into court, I guess. The only thing to do right now is wait. I guess I am waiting the police to show up at the door and tell me one of two things:

1. (and this is the best case scenario) "Your son has been arrested and is being held at ________ facility."

2. "We need you to come with us to the morgue to identify your son's body."

And I gotta tell you, I think about scenario #2 more than I would like to admit. I haven't seen or heard from him since Monday when he ran away again. Fear is beginning to set in now. I was in bed last night and it felt like someone was strangling me. I couldn't breathe and I could almost feel hands around my neck trying to squeeze the life out of me. Crazy, huh? I think maybe if I wanted to I could use this as a metaphor that he is choking out all the happiness in my life, but that seems stupid. I think maybe I might be having mini panic attacks. Who knows? All I know is that I need a break.

Speaking of taking a break, I think I might go out this weekend for the first time in weeks. I think I might try happy hour at a local place. It seems like the right think for a Friday after a difficult week. Y'all know drinks on Friday taste better than on Monday. Have a great weekend!